Vocal: Narrator and The Muses
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Narrator: Long ago, in the far away land of ancient Greece there was a golden age of powerful gods extraordinary heroes and greatest and strongest of all these Heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Now, that is what our story ... Muses: Will you listen to him? He's making the story sound like some Greek tragedy. Lighten up, dude. We'll take it from here, darling. Narrator: You go, girls ... Muses: We are the muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes. Heroes like Hercules. Honey, you mean Hunkules! I'd like to make some sweet music of it Our story actually begins long before Hercules Many Aeons ago ...
Vocal: The Muses
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Back when the world was new The planet Earth was down on its luck And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok It was a nasty place There was a mess whereever you stepped Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept And then along came Zeus He hurled his thunderbolt He zapped Locked those suckers in a vault They're trapped And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks And that's the gospel truth The guy was too type A to just relax And that's the world's first dish Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble That's the gospel truth On Mt. Olympus life was neat and Smooth as sweet vermough Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble That's the gospel truth
Vocal: Chorus and Muse (Roz Ryan)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades, cause he had an evil plan He ran the Underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth
Vocal: The Muses
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Young Herc was mortal now But since he did not drink the last drop He still retained his godlike strength So thank his lucky star But Zeus and Hera wept Because their son could never come home They'd have to watch their precious baby Grow up from afar Though Hades horrid plan Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth The boy grew stronger ev'ry day and That's the gospel truth
Vocal: Hercules (Roger Bart)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
I have often dreamed Of a far-off place Where a great warm welcome Will be waiting for me Where the crowds will cheer When they see my face And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be I will find my way I can go the distance I'll be there someday If I can be strong I know ev'ry mild Will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong I am on my way I can go the distance I don't care how far Somehow I'll be strong I know ev'ry mile Will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong
Vocal: Hercules (Roger Bart)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
I will beat the odds I can go the distance I will face the world Fearless, proud and strong I will please the gods I can go the distance Till I find my hero's welcome Right where I belong
Vocal: Phil (Danny DeVito)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
So, ya wanna be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-de-do! I have been around the block before With blockheads just like you Each and ev'ryone a disappointment Pain for which there ain't no ointment So much for excuses Though a kid of Zeus is Asking me to jump into the fray My answer is two words - O.K. You win Oh gods Oy vay! I'd given up hope that someone would come along A fellow who'd ring the bell for once Not the gong The kind who wins trophies Won't settle for low fees At least semi-pro fees But no - I get the greenhorn I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn But you need an advisor A satyr, but wiser A good merchandiser And oohh! There goes my ulcer! I'm down to one last hope And I hope it's you Though, kid, you're not exactly A dream come true I've trained enough turkeys Who never came through You're my one last hope So you'll have to do Demigods have faced the odds And ended up a mockery Don't believe the stories That you read on all the crockery To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art Like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart It takes more than sinew Comes down to what's in you You have to continue to grow Now that's more like it! I'm down to one last shoot And my last high note Before that blasted Underworld Gets my goat My dreams are on you, kid Go make 'em come true Climb that uphil slope Keep pushing that envelope You're my one last hope And, kid, it's up to you
Vocal: The Muses and Chorus
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Bless my soul Herc was on a roll Person of the week in evry Greek opinion poll What a pro Herc could stop a show Point him at a monster and you're talking SRO He was a no one A zero, zero Now he's a honcho He's a hero Here was a kid with his act down pat >From zero to hero in no time flat Zero to hero just like that When he smiled The girls went wild with oohs and aahs And they slapped his face On ev'ry vase (on ev'ry "vahse") >From appearance fees and royalties Our Herc had cash to burn Now nouveau riche and famous He could tell you What's a Grecian urn? Say amen There he goes again Sweet and undefeated And an awesome 10 for 10 Folks lined up Just to watch him flex And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs Hercie, he comes He sees, he conquers Honey, the crowds were Going bonkers He showed the moxie brains, and spunk >From zero to hero a major hunk Zero to hero and who'da thunk Who put the glad in gladiator? Hercules! Whose daring deeds are great theater? Hercules Is he bold? No one braver Is he sweet Our fav'rite flavor Hercules, Hercules ... Bless my soul Herc was on a roll Undefeated Riding high And the nicest guy not conceited He was a nothin' A zero, zero Now he's a honcho He's a hero He hit the heights at breackneck speed >From zero to hero Herc is a hero Now he's a hero Yes indeed!
Vocal: Meg (Susan Egan)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Meg: If there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that! Muses: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of Meg: No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Muses: You swoon, you sigh why deny it, uh-oh Meg: It's too cliche I won't say I'm in love I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming get a grip, girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh Muses: You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That ya got, got, got it bad Meg: No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no Muses: Give up, give in Check the grin you're in love Meg: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love Muses: You're doin flips read our lips You're in love Meg: You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it Muses: Girl, don't be proud It's O.K. you're in love Meg: Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
Vocal: The Muses and Chorus
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel
Gonna shout it from the mountaintops A star is born It's a time for pulling out the stops A star is born Honey, hit us with a hallelu The kid came shining through Girl, sing the song Come blow your horn A star is born He's a hero who can please the crowd A star is born Come on ev'rybody shout out loud A star is born Just remember in the darkest hour Within your heart's the power For making you A hero too So don't lose hope when you're forlorn Just keep your eyes upon the skies Ev'ry night a star is Right in sight a star is Burning bringt a star is born Like a beacon in the cold dark night A star is born Told ya ev'rything would turn out right A star is born Just when ev'rything was all at sea The boy made history The bottom line He sure can shine His rising sign is Capricorn He knew "how to" He had a clue Telling you a star is born Here's a hero who can please the crowd A star is born Come on ev'rybody shout out loud A star is born Just remember in the darkest hour Within your heart's the power For making you A hero too So don't lose hope when you're forlorn Just keep your eyes upon the skies Ev'ry night a star is Right in sight a star is Burning bright a star is born